Thursday, August 20, 2009

Making cash money on medical surveys

I'm hooked! I had a friend how told me about this company in my area that would pay you to try products out. Well, I got my first call last week and get this....they are going to pay me $65 to put an air freshener in my house for a week and then fill out a survey. Shit, can I get 5 of them??? Now that they have me in their web they called me early this week and asked if I would be able to do another survey that paid $75 for an hour's worth of my time. They said it would involve watching a "program" and they would be recording my responses. Hmmmm....should have asked more questions at that point. I get to this place on Wednesday and I felt like I was going into a pawn shop. It was just kind of embarrassing. As soon as I walk in the door this place is huge!!! It has an actual grocery store set up inside. Some lady at a folding desk practically jumps out at me and drags me over to her table. (Which I thought was strange because there was a huge fancy recption desk right in front of the door). Dude, this lady was stealing me from the other company. After a small squirmish broke out between the rival companies, I was taken into a room with 4 other people. And wouldn't you know it??? Two super hot dudes in the room!!! The lady in a very thick oriental accent tells us what to expect. I couldn't understand a word she was saying, but I understood what was going to happen as they are putting electrodes all over our face and hands. Don't you know I was looking hot! Then they come out with the shower cap and I'm thinking to myself "what are my boundries what point do I just get up and leave?" They measure our heads to see what size cap we need and the lady next to me whips off her weave....I just about peed in my pants! I've got to get to the point here. They put this tight cap on my head and it's got holes all through it where they are going to put "leave in condition" so it will conduct better with the electic thingies. I called BULLSHIT on that one....I expect my hair will fall out within days. So I am sitting in a chair with 10 wires strapped to my face and arms and the lady is sticking "leave in conditioner/aka cancer gel" into the holes. The shit starts oozing all over my head under the cap. At this point I was thinking "well at least I'll have something to Ambien Blog about tonight). So we get up and have to walk past a room of people taking this point my self respect was gone so it wasn't' a biggie. They take me into a glass room and start hooking my head up to a machine. After she plugs about 30 wires into my head she tells me to relax while she checks the readings. RELAX????? I didn't understand a word of what we were told when we came in (thanks Nail Salon Lady). Holy crap....I sit there and I hear things wizzing, but no pain. All of the sudden her voice booms over the speaker in the room "YOU REALLY NEED TO RELAX YOUR FOREHEAD AND JAW...I'M NOT GETTING A GOOD READING." How the fuck does she expect me to relax hooked up like a white trash christmas tree? Finally I get relaxed enough and the thing starts. Words flash on the screen and when I see a word with a green letter I am supposed to hit a button. This went on for about 5 minutes....I thought I was going to loose my mind. Either than or these people were brainwashing me. Finally a picture of a damn Potato Chip bag comes up and I just stare at it for about 3 minutes. We go through this whole scenario about three times and finally they are done with me. Like a hooker in a cheap hotel room, I rush to the bathroom to wipe the remaining "jizz" off. (my head you dirty bastards). I walk out to the lobby trying to act like I had a shred of self esteem left and collect my $75 check.

HOLY CRAP...I googled "electrodes" an a picture of the exact same shit I had on is in this picture.


  1. Lololol...are you sure you just didn't take too much ambien and hallucinate that whole thing???? That is INSANE. I would have been running out of there screaming bloody murder.

  2. was the real deal!