Thursday, August 6, 2009

Some of My Best Ambien Stories

Do I waste another valuable Ambien half hour trying to figure out how to take my damn dog's picture off the bottom of my profile? Nah....better R.O.I. if I blog.

So, where did I come up with the idea to blog when I'm on Ambien? It seems that if anyone catches me after I taken my ambien I'm quite the character. And to think I am a mess before I take the Ambien.....I can only imagine what I'm like after I take it. And the answer is "yes, I took an Ambien about an hour ago." Chased it with 3 slices of cheese toast, an Orange Crush and a huge M-n-M cookie. Which brings me to some of my favorite ambien stories that include food. As my ex-husband used to say, my window of opportunity is diminishing so I'll try to get to the point.

Yes, it's true that one of the many side effects of taking Ambien is sleep eating. One night after taking an ambien, I had nightmares about rolling around on a beach and not being able to get up. The sand was just tearing up my skin. Fast forward to 7:00 am and I wake up with a bag of popcorn spilled in my bed. Not the most comfortable thing to sleep on. And then there is the "Whopper Incident." After a particularlly restful night on ambien, I awoke and went to the bathroom. As I sit on the toilet, I see that I am covered in SHIT!!! I really think I've done it this time...the line has been crossed....I am now a bed shitter. After taking a quick shower I mope into the bedroom to change the sheets and I see an empty Whopper candy box and Whoppers covering my bed. I live to see another day of continence. Oh happy day!

Well, my eyelids are drooping and I'm getting that familiar urge to brush my dog. Hopefully I'll be able to find the brush tomorrow morning. Someone tell me why I put it in the microwave last night. It could have been those Ambien induced microwaved nachos that was the culprit. Whateverr...I'm off to brush the dog. Ta ta...until the next Ambien night!

UPDATE: Once I sobered up from the Ambien I figured out how to take the picture of my dog off my profile.


  1. you are funny. (i am glad someone else blogs in english)

  2. I took Ambien for a while for fibromyalgia. I did several things that were funny and some that were downright stupid and dangerous. Once I made cookies and cleaned out my closet while zoned out on Ambien. I didn't even know about it until the next day when I asked who had done it. Once I drove to my job, opened the office and took a bunch of paintings and furniture home to my house. I locked the place up neatly and just drove home. The next day I woke up and all of the pilfered stuff was in my living room! Once I painted my face with nail polish and woke up to find it slopped all over the bed (and me). Once I shaved off all of my pubic hair and eyebrows while on Ambien!

    Needless to say, I stopped taking it because I had so many incidents like that. I mean, it works well, but geez, the things you do while zoned out. Scary!